Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can't turn off my feet"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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