That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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