I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
