i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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