You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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