I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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