a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
