Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
