god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
