you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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