she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
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