She is in my trunk
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
