Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
