and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
