I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
