absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
