at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
