Soap is not a condiment
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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