They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
