lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
