Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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