I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
