i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
