the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
