Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
