And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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