Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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