I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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