Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
