i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
3 2 1 whiskey
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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