Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
