She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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