K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
