Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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