His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
