he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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