Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize