He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
