I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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