Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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