My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
