This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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