I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
