So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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