I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
