Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I need moral support for this bender
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
