i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize