I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
