no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
