I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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