I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
