I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
