I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize