I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
