Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
