Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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