STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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