Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
