I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
