is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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