they need to just BURY HIM!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize