ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
