Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
