exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
