Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
