Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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