Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
