Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize