It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
