At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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