I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
