So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I am midnight drunk by noon
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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