yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
